I decided that once I became a published author, I had given up the right to be a book reviewer.  Oh, I post favorable reviews on Amazon and Barnes & Noble occasionally, if something really moves me, but if I don’t like a book I follow the old “if you can’t say something nice” rule.

This is at least partially out of professional self-preservation.  I have a friend who did not follow this rule.  She wrote a critical review of what was truly a horrendously bad book.  Both the reviewer and the book shall remain nameless here, but I read the book and, in my not-so-humble opinion, my friend was actually kind.

Anyway, the author of the reviewed book was incensed, and promptly went to Amazon and wrote a really scathing review of my friend’s most recent novel (which we’re fairly sure she had never read).  She proceeded to do the same on every website that took reviews. She blogged about it and left nasty comments on other blogs.  Then, she posted more bad reviews of the book (MONTHS after the release) under several different aliases.

It’s a great book, BTW.  And I ain’t just sayin’ that out of professional courtesy!

My friend is sanguine about the whole thing – she’s a bit of an agent provocateur by nature, anyway.  I, too, am okay with the occasional bad review.  The Mercy books aren’t a slam dunk with everyone—they have an edgy protagonist who, if you met her on the street, you probably wouldn’t warm up to right away.  They are often shelved with romance, but they aren’t romances, which disappoints some readers.  The day is not saved by an alpha hero.  Loose ends are left untied.  Also, I have the same character names as some other Urban Fantasy authors (none of whom, incidentally, I, my agent or my editor had read before the first couple of books were finished) so a number of amateur reviewers have concluded that I am attempting to ride on the coattails of Charlaine Harris and Patricia Briggs.

I do think the Amazon reviewer who hoped that “too many trees haven’t been killed in order to print this trash” was a little over the top.  But I was more amused than upset. 

This is all leading up to a link I almost didn’t share.  It’s for a review by Dear Author, a blogger who is sometimes pretty brutal and, as far as I know, has never reviewed any of my books (which is, I admit, a relief).  She posted a review yesterday that stirred up a lot of controversy. So I read it and...

Oh. My. Gawd.

The review is not what’s shocking.  It’s the excerpts of the book she published. They are so ...so....

Oh, hell, I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.  

Click HERE to read the review.

WARNING – the book being reviewed is an erotic romance and contain graphic language and descriptions.  And a lot of weird terminology for body parts.

Enjoy.  And do not take a sip of a hot beverage before reading.

P.S. Henceforth I shall always refer to my vajayjay as “my lady softness.”

P.P.S. Be sure to read far enough through the comments to find those written by "Captain Codpiece."  I almost peed myself.