Once upon a time, there were two clams, Sam Clam and Fred Clam. Sam and Fred were best friends, and were never apart until the day they died.  Then...

Fred Clam went to heaven...

But Sam Clam went to hell!

After a couple of weeks in heaven, Fred Clam got a visit from St. Peter.

“How are you enjoying heaven, Fred?”

“Oh, I love it.  It’s fantastic.  And you know what the best part it?  It’s my harp!

You see, back on Earth, I didn’t even have fingers, and now I can actually play music.

I just love it!” 

Then, Fred Clam sighed and said, “If only Sam Clam could hear me playing the harp.  I miss him so much, and I never got to say goodbye!

If I could just see Sam Clam one last time, I’d be happy in Heaven for eternity.”

St. Peter (being an old softie) said, “Well, you know, Fred, it’s a little known fact that we have an elevator here that goes all the way to the bottom floor.”

“We do?” asked Fred Clam.  He’d never heard of an elevator in Heaven.

“Yes,” replied St. Peter, “We do.  And, as it happens, the “Big Guy” takes a nap from 3:00 to 6:00 every day.

So, if you’ll meet me at the elevator doors at a little after 3:00 tomorrow afternoon, I can arrange a visit to Sam Clam.”

So, the next day, Fred Clam grabbed his harp and headed for the elevator doors.

“Now, remember,” warned St. Peter, “You absolutely, positively must be back by six.  Because when the Big Guy wakes up...

Well, he’s all-seeing and all-knowing, and I’ll get in an awful lot of trouble if I get caught letting you go downstairs!”

Fred Clam solemnly promised to be back by six, then jumped in the elevator and hit the bottom for the very bottom floor.

When the doors finally opened, he stepped out onto a road surrounded by fiery flames. 

Two demons were walking by, and he hailed them.

“Excuse me, but I’m looking for Sam Clam.  Do you know where I can find him?”

One of the demons exclaimed, “Why, you must be Fred Clam!  Sam talks about you all the time!”

“You know Sam Clam?” asked Fred, surprised.

“Oh, everyone knows Sam,” laughed the other demon. 

“He runs the best bar in hell! 

Just head on down the road—you can’t miss the sign.”

After thanking the two demons, Fred slung his harp over his shoulder and hurried down the road. 

Sure enough, he soon came to an enormous sign saying

Sam Clam’s Pool Hall and Discothèque!

He went inside and there, at the bar, sat Sam Clam.

The two friends were ecstatic to see one another again.  Fred showed Sam his harp, and Sam showed Fred how to play pool.

They had a few drinks, and Sam opened up the discotheque early just so they could dance. 

Suddenly, Fred Clam looked up at the clock and saw that it was 5:55! 

With one final hug to Sam, he took off running as fast as he could go.

He slid into the elevator and hit the button for the penthouse, and tried to get his breath as the elevator rose, all too slowly.

After what seemed like an eternity, the bell rang and he arrived at the top floor.

The doors opened and there was St. Peter, pacing back and forth.  The clock hanging on a nearby pearly gate said 5:59!

“Oh, thank goodness you made it on time.  I was afraid the Big Guy would wake up, and...”

A look of horror fell across St. Peter’s face.

“Fred!” he gasped.  “Where’s your harp?!””

Fred’s heart sank.  “Oh, no,” he said...

I Left my Harp in Sam Clam’s Disco!